Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
