VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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