Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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