guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
