Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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