I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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