i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
