when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
