i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
