What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
