I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
