If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
