Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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