It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
