We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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