I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
