I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize