I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
