Heybabeimwearingurpanties
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she told me i tasted like america
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
