Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
