I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
