i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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