I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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