When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just had sex on a roof
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
