My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
