Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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