I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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