just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
bring money and cleavage
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
