Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
