Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry thatGirl222 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

Fav 14 1172 3964
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens

Fav 36 5883 1424
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(309): View more from Illinois

And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.

Fav 81 1531 10463
share tweet
(513): View more from Ohio

I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

Fav 9 1117 3589
share tweet
(601): View more from Mississippi

I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.

Fav 7 2452 1210
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

Fav 3 3344 1431
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(646): View more from New York

but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered

Fav 8 3779 1146
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.

Fav 2 408 621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.

Fav 2 42 24
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT