He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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