i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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