The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
