I can't breathe out the right side of my face
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
