I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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