It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
