I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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