he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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