Whod you bang
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize