the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
jump out the window naked night went bad
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
