bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
