Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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