Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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