the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
