So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
