i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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