careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
