There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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