i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
