Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
