I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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