Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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