and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
