The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
