low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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