their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
