Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
