You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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