hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize