Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
